Part 4: The Conclusion

After I urinated in the bush, I emerged to find that Kelly had disappeared. I thought we'd lost her somehow. As it turns out, she'd just run across the street and snuck into a bar to use the restroom. I don't think she so much snuck as walked in because we followed her. I could've done that, but then I wouldn't have been able to cross public urination off my list.

After she'd done her business, we loitered outside. Kelly asked us if we had a lighter and no one did. I found it very important that we have a lighter. So I just started chanting, "no lighter, need a lighter, need a lighter," until this dude near us was like "You need a lighter? I've got one." Great. He handed it over and we lit up. 

I don't smoke cigarettes. I find them to be gross. I don't like the smell and I don't like the cancer. But, apparently, I only smoke when I drink, because when Kelly lit it, I begged for a drag. We passed that shit around and I tried not to cough. I would've been very embarrassed had I thrown a coughing fit. As it turns out, that cigarette wasn't originally Kelly's. She'd found it on the ground! I smoke a ground cigarette. I asked her why she picked it up. "It's a Camel and was in the box. It said 'Limited Edition' on it!" Oh, ya don't say? I did hear that tobacco is about to be extinct. Ew, dirty cigarette.

Oh yeah, before this (and before I used the bathroom) we ran into some dudes. Courtney asked them if they had a lighter and they told her no, but they had a wiener. How tacky. Then, a cute one, told me I had great boobs and high-fived me for them. That was a pleasant experience.

So after the smoking incident, we decided to walk to El Rancho for a Sopapilla (or something), on the way there I got out a piece of gum. Big mistake. When the wave of mint hit me, I suddenly got very nauseous. I had to puke. I walked along the street, dry-heaving like a dog. It was gross. Finally, I just puked on the street. I don't think I even stopped walking- I just did it mid-stride. I'm not necessarily proud of this, just stating a fact.

After this, we made it to El Rancho. The girls made me pose on a bench with newspaper, acting like I was homeless, while they took photos. People watched. I got really into it and I'm sure you could see both up and down my dress.

We ran into another guy who was drinking beer on the street and eating pizza. I thought he was very attractive and wanted to take him home. I was told he wasn't cute at all. We'll never know. We all went and composed ourselves at my dirty apartment.

It was a successful evening.