Pulitzer Prize Winner

I had a dream a few weeks ago that scared me. For some reason I started thinking about it again just now, while I was bathing. Here are the fuzzy details that I remember and how it has affected my life:

I got a chance to go into a prison and befriend a prisoner. I got him to divulge his secrets and really interesting life-experiences to me. Excited, I rushed home and typed up the story. It went on the front page of the New York Post with a very witty headline. Everyone was impressed, as the story was touching, interesting, enlightening, and just great. 

I was heralded for it. I won the Pulitzer Prize, among many other recognitions. I got rich and was able to get my fictional books and stories published. Those were great as well. I had everything- fame, money, a big house, friends, lovers. 

Then, my source was unexpectedly released from prison. He did not like the story I did about him. At the height of my success, he murdered me. I was killed, but I had written an exquisite piece.

This is where it gets interesting: after I died, I had a chance to relive my life. I could do it exactly the same- still run the piece and be killed for it- or I could choose not to. If I didn't, then  I would never be wildly successful. People would under-appreciate me and everyone would think I were mediocre. An angel told me this. 

It took me a while to decide. Then I woke up. I took my waking as not just the end of a dream, but the beginning of a life I'd already lived. I thought (and still sort of do) that I really did do all those things, and now is my chance to do it again. I sat long and hard and thought about what I should do. Is death worth the glory? Is it better to be really, really happy for some years, or is it better to live an average-length life with a normal amount of happiness?

Terrified, I couldn't decide, and I still can't, not really. I think that if I know that I could be successful- and I do know that- then that's enough, the world doesn't have to know it too. But at other times, I'm like "But Jess, you've always wanted people to read your work and fawn over your brilliance." And I then say, "Yes Jess, that is quite true. You do like to be fawned over." 

So I think I would (will) publish the article, as it really had a big impact on the world.