Suicide, Part 2

I can't stop thinking about this kid. I didn't know, never heard of him, yet I can't get him out of my mind.

Why did he do it? Did he call someone while he was on the ledge? Who? Did they answer? What did they say? Did they think he was joking? Did they tell him to stop being so dramatic? Did he have no one to call?

While he was falling, what was he thinking? Was he happy with his decision?

Did anyone see it coming? Did he do it because he didn't want to go back home, where his homelife sucks? Were finals too stressful? Was he gay and afraid to come out? Was he lonely?

What did his parents think? Does he have parents? Was he an only child?

Why did he pick the parking garage? What did he yell that the janitor heard?

Did he think he'd fly, that it was a joke, and not real? What happens after you die?

Why did he do it? What made him think he had no other options? Is life really that bad?

Did he leave a note? What did it say? Who found it?

Will the garage be haunted? Why why why? Does he get to watch the aftermath from Heaven?

Was it an accident? Foul play?

I hope the autopsy turns up acid or shrooms. A drug death would be better than a depression death, at least he would've been happy, probably.

But really, I don't understand what makes a person do that. What leads to it. Were there any signs? Did he have anyone to talk to? He was attractive, but was college just not what he thought it'd be? Did a girl dump him or snub him? Was it a mach/bravado/dare that made him jump?


I guess I'll never know the answers to these questions, but I can't shut my brain off. I wonder what his last thought was, if he could've left his body before he hit, who the last person he talked to was, what he said, what they said, what the last youtube video he watched was, what was the last film he saw in theaters, the last food he ate, music he heard, test he took, person he kissed, hand he held, fantasy he had. I wonder what his future could've been.

I wonder and I worry and I stress and it's a shame. I didn't know him.

I shouldn't care.