Afterwards I drove around town to relax and listen to music. It was nice. When I got back I watched "Wild Things" and I enjoyed it. I didn't see some of the twists coming, so I was impressed. Matt Dillion is yummy.
After that, I realized that I was feeling lonely but pretty. I'm still feeling very pretty- my hair is swept in just the right way. Anyway, I was on my computer, looking hot, so I decided to do something that would make me feel hot.
I decided to visit a chat room- something I hadn't done since middle school. I typed "sexy chat room" into google and bravely clicked on one of the first sites. The hard part was creating the perfect screen name. I didn't want to be too suggestive, yet I didn't want to seem unappealing, either. I also needed to let prospective suitors know I was female. I chose "CrazyLady".
I stretched back, giggled, and nervously entered the room. It was like throwing chum in shark-infested waters. The men came to me in droves. At least 10 sent me personal messages and tried to chat me up. It was overwhelming. I wanted to talk with all of them, because that's the kind of girl I am.
One guy wrote "you wanna chat with an older man?" "Older is appealing, how old?" "51... too old?" "No such thing," I wrote back.
I switched to another convo with some dude. Things were going well until he asked me if I had a facebook. I told him I did, but that I wouldn't give him my full name, that'd be weird. But then he was like "we could look at each other as we feel ourselves." I didn't write back.
I just kept getting message after message. Some were very x-rated (which were grossly shocking) and some were so innocent that I was turned off by their timidness. It was just a lot to take in.
Another guy, right off the bat asked if I liked it rough and hard. I decided this was my chance to take advantage of this situation. I wrote, "I do. Do you like it wet and tight?" So crude, I know. Right after I typed that in I started screaming "I can't do this! I can't do this! I just can't!" and I slammed my computer shut. I really did yell it. I probably woke the neighbors. Then I got up and paced the room, laughing uncontrollably.
I don't know why I found it to be so difficult. I can say dirty words, and write sex scenes that I make my classmates in Fiction Creative Writing read, but typing them to pervy strangers is weird. After I got off (of the computer, to clarify) I stared at myself in the mirror, making sultry faces. It's what I do.
Maybe if I try it again I'll come up with a new life for myself. Maybe I'll be a hobo using the computer's library. I think I'll also sip on some wine to class it up.
As I was reading this post, I couldn't stop laughing. For two reasons. First because the way you wrote everything was pretty humorous, and second because I also find myself doing stuff like this. One of my favorite things to do is drive around and listen to music. I hadn't logged into a chat room since junior high or high school either, until that one night a few weeks ago. I have also seen Wild Things - and even though it isn't the best movie, there's something about it that keeps you watching. Probably Matt Dillon.
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks Catherine, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's fun, just driving around by your lonesome, singing to some tunes. I'll have you know that after I wrote this I couldn't sleep. So I ventured back to the site and got brave and actually dirty talked with a married stranger. He was quite literate and played out one of my favorite fantasies.
ReplyDeleteI'm putting this in a movie...someday.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I could inspire you, Sean. You'll have to invite me to the red-carpet premiere.
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