This Consuming Hate

I get so filled with hate sometimes. It's awful, really, and this rage happens for really no reason. 

There's this girl who i intern with at the literary journal who just makes me want to drown babies. The first time I laid eyes on her, I was just filled with disgust. I was just like, "ugh, really? You're here? Quit making eye-contact with me, bitch." I hate the b-word, so for me to even think it shows my distaste for this person.

When she returns stories that I've passed to her with condescending negative comments scrawled on the back, I just want to cover her body in papercuts with the manuscript. I've been interning longer than she. When I return a manuscript she gave to me, saying it sucks, she clucks like a chicken and hee-haws like a donkey and passes it to someone else for another opinion. When other people do this, it's no biggie. When I do it to her, it's because I have taste. But when she does it to me, I just want to grab her by her ugly strands of hair, stick them in an industrial fan and see what happens.

I don't know why I let her get to me. I see her smiling and chatting with the higher-ups and it pisses me off. She's always taking extra workloads and all I can think is "you goddamned suckup. You're never going to get higher than an intern  here, so quit it... jerk."

I'm sure she's a lovely lady with lovely friends and a caring family, but fuck all that. I hate her. She speaks up during the class portion of the internship, speaking on the behalf of those who can't articulate what they want to say. You're not a mediator, so let someone flounder in their words. You're just a person past her prime who's trying to get back a life she lost.